How to Guard Your Heart When You "Admire" Someone

It's something all girls struggle with...You see a guy, you admire his looks, his mannerism, he's a Christian, and your next thought is: "Is he the one?" A couple days later you find that you are thinking about him. You do something and think, "Will such and so like how I do this?" You talk to him shyly and try to hide that you admire him. Your heart skips a beat as you think, "maybe one day I won't have to hide that I admire him." And then the Holy Spirit says to you, "You are not thinking correctly, your mind has wandered. Wait for the man I have for you. Keep your heart and mind on Me until then." Conviction and shame now enter your mind and you try your hardest not to think about the man and how he could be "the one". The reason I know this, is because, I have struggled with it often. My -our- natural desire is for a man and we will always be on the "look out" for one. It's how God made us. He says in Genesis to the woman, "that our desire shall be for thy husband..."

Any time my mind would begin to wander, I would pray, "Lord, this is wrong thinking. My mind is going wild and I can't control it! Help!" This prayer, though prayed often wasn't cutting it.... I am NOT saying God wasn't listening to it or helping me, but I felt like I wasn't being specific enough in my prayer and in my thought life...that maybe, even though I knew it wrong, I wasn't repentant enough. Finally I came to the conclusion that I would ask my Mom. She would have some advice for me -she always does- and I know that it - whatever it was- would help. This is how she helped me and told me to pray:

• First Pray: "Lord, you know my heart better than I do. You know what's best for me. There is a man that I really admire. (Name his name) He is a Christian and there is evidence that he is. I ask Lord, that if he is the one that you would bring our marriage about quickly and that it would be glorifying to you. And that you would guard our hearts until then. If he is not the one, I ask that you would take these thoughts and feelings far from me. That you would help me to control my flesh. I also pray, that you wold help me focus more on You and what you would have for my life. Not what I would have.
• Then Pray for him. Pray that God would guard his heart and to help him prepare for marriage. That he would be focused on Christ and that he would be a strong, righteous leader of his home.
• When this has been prayed, pray for his future wife. Even if it means it's not you. Pray that whoever she is, would be a Godly young lady. That she would be strong in faith and in her role as wife, and maybe someday, mother. Pray that she would be using her single years to glorify God and preparing for marriage rightly. 
• Lastly. Pray for the parents of both of these people. That they would help their children with their walk with Christ and strengthen them on things that they need strengthening on. This may not seem important, but it is always important to pray for someone. 

Another thing. Confess your problem to your mother. (If you don't have a Godly mother, or a mother, ask one of the Ladies in your church to listen to you. If this too isn't possible, I would love for you to contact me, so that I may pray for you. We are Christians. And as such, we are to build each other up. Please don't be afraid to ask me.) ;) Tell her and your heart will be lighter. The Bible commands us to confess our sins to one another. It enables others to specifically pray for you. And "The prayer of a righteous person has great power at its working."

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." James 5:16

I hope that the Lord uses this post to speak to your heart. God Bless, Petra

Questions To Be Asked During Courtship - Part 2 - questions 7-9

Question 7 - When/If we were to marry would you freely and joyfully have my family over? Do you love them or would you find it a burden to visit them after our marriage? I ask this question, because, I have know couples who, after they were married, the wife hardly ever saw her family because the husband hated/disliked them. I don't want this to be a matter of contention in our family. I want all of our families, to love each other and if possible, get together often.

Question 8 (similair to question 5)- What are your ideals on schooling? I want to homeschool. Private, Christian, and Public schools end up in disasters. I believe that the Bible gave the Children to the parents, for the parents to raise; not schools, and Sunday schools.
 "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6

 "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might.6 Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. 7 Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise. 8 Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead.." Deuteronomy 6:5-8

Question 9 - What is your idea on what homeschooling is like? Do you think that children should be geniuses on all subjects. Or do you think that "simple" schooling is best? By simple schooling, I mean that the Children should know how to read, write, do arithmetic, science and history. ( When I mention Science and History I don't mean for them to memorize every date or remember every detail. If it's in there interest, they can pursue it on their own.) The reason I ask this, is because, I have seen book smart "geniuses"  who don't have any idea on how to survive in the real world. And they are always talking about things that are way over peoples heads! I don't mean our children should be stupid, I think they should be smart -but not so book smart that NO one knows what they are talking about. Or if they are smart, that they know how to talk to people that are on their "level" of thinking. - and know how to teach themselves and survive in the real world. What are your thoughts?